Greensleeves
by Pallarel Studios
Summary: Greensleeves was all my joy...


Greensleeves.

Dorian Gray

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Events in the fic have changed order slightly from those in canon. The main ones that you will need to realise are:

1) Asuka became comatose before the 16th angel, therefore she was not deployed in that battle.

2) Ritsuko reveals to Misato and Shinji the secrets of Rei and the Dummy Plug before the 16th angel, therefore Shinji is aware of this before he is ordered into the battle.

3) This one is never explicitly said in the canon, but this assumes that Touji was indeed given quality prosthetic legs by NERV.

Having said that, see you at the end.

-Dorian

_Greensleeves was all my joy  
Greensleeves was my delight,  
Greensleeves was my heart of gold,  
And who but my Lady Greensleeves._

-Greensleeves

The mall was filled with all sorts. Students, workers, old ladies on their weekly shopping expedition. Tourists buying cheap novelties sold by gaudy shops designed specifically for that purpose: all could be clearly seen from any point in the mall.

You could always tell which was which. The old ladies walked in pairs; in their best clothes and brightly polished shoes, waiting for the afternoon matinee. You could tell who were tourists; the men always carried cameras of varying quality and insisted on frequently using them, the women looked wore high heels and looked as if their feet hurt. Parents dragged around screaming children with runny noses, who would gravely insist on looking at every shop that sold candy.

And the students. Every day, without fail, there were students. In the morning, you could see them, carrying around black satchels; trying to finish their homework before they got to school. Even on weekends, when there was no school, it was generally accepted that at least ninety percent of the teenagers present were students. Even during school hours, there were students; relaxing during their lunch break, doing their due assignments during their free period without being caught by the teacher, or simply skipping classes.

The mall was always full, always moving, always busy. And Shinji liked it.

It was almost... warm. The sounds of moving people; the sights of the new displays and products the shops had on offer; the smells of coffee, cake and other goodies at the food court merged together into something almost... friendly. Welcoming.

Yes. Shinji liked it.

He liked being close to people like this. He liked seeing the people bustling about their daily activities; uncaring as to the angels that seemed to attack daily. He liked the smells that tempted him always as he sat and watched the life of the mall pass by from his seat in the food court. People going about their normal lives.

And he liked the music.

_Alas, my love, you do me wrong..._

The music played constantly. It often provided quite a background to the movement of the people.

For instance, if the speakers played something fast and loud, like the 'pop' popular at the turn of the century, then the people would move a little faster. The children would scream and yell more. The parents would lose their temper more. Tourists would be more prone to leave. The shopkeepers would not cry the quality of their wares, but rather the inferiority of their competitors.

On the other hand, if the speakers played the classical music so common of the 1800's, such as Kanon, the people would move just that little bit slower; graceful, even. The children would not cry. The parents would be kind. Tourists would leave singing the praises of Tokyo-3. And the shopkeepers did not cry their wares, for it would be sacrilege to taint the music with their voices.

Did the people's actions change the music played? Or did the music played change the actions of the people? Shinji liked to think it was a little of both.

For the moment, Shinji was content to walk through the mall, watching, smelling, hearing, and overall enjoying the experience the mall always gave him. He did not know why it made him content, he did not know how it made him content. All he knew that here, watching all the people go about their lives like normal people, made him content.

And in his world, the world of angel attacks and constant death, he was not about to argue. So he was content to merely sit, and watch, and listen.

_To treat me so discourteously..._

He was not the only one that enjoyed the atmosphere of the mall, it seemed. All around him, it seemed, were smiling old women, smiling children with their parents, and smiling friends. In a world where death could, and did, come every week without warning, it was good to see people just being happy.

Was it in the corner of the food court that he could glimpse on Touji and Hikari on a day out? And in the clothes shop, was it that girl that sat in the second-to-last row? Mayumi or something? And Kensuke, once again raiding the local hobbies shop for model aircraft? And - he took a gulp - Rei.

The girl was sitting in the sun on a bench provided for the purpose, working through her schoolbooks, or so it appeared. Too obvious if he walked past, too self-conscious to turn back, he resolutely walked his original path. Which happened to lead right past Rei.

He was never certain if she saw him approach her that day. In any case, she moved her books closer, leaving room enough for someone - him? - to sit.

Unsure of what to do, he timidly approached her. "Um... hi Rei."

She didn't look up from her book. "Pilot Ikari."

"M-May I sit here?"

She didn't respond; he interpreted it as a yes. He sat down, making sure not to bump any of her books.

And, for a time, it was good. He sat, watching, listening, and enjoying her company. Rei was content to wade through the pile of books beside her.

_For I have loved you so long..._

After a while, he looked over at the black book Rei was writing in. The answers to their mathematics homework were neatly written down in Rei's graceful cursive. Yet...

Shinji took the pencil from Rei's hand, and smiled. "The volume of a sphere is r-cubed, not r-squared." He rubbed out the incorrect digits with the eraser on the opposite end, and rewrote the equation correctly in his untidy scrawl.

Rei was silent for a moment. "T-Thank you," she said quietly. "Without a calc-"

"Without a calculator? I just remembered it from when I did it last night."

They sat quietly again for a time, again merely happy to be in each other's company. A cool breeze flowed through the open spaces of the mall, shaking the tree they sat under; quick bursts of the afternoon sun flickered over them.

"I-I haven't seen _you _around here before, Rei," the Third Child eventually said, breaking the silence.

"My apartment building is being checked for pests," Rei responded in her usual monotone. "I cannot return until tomorrow afternoon."

"Oh." Shinji nodded. "Where are you going to be while you're waiting?"

"I have an appointment with Doctor Akagi this evening. Commander Ikari has arranged for quarters at NERV for me to stay for tonight, and I will most likely be working tomorrow morning." She shifted slightly to allow more of the dying light to fall on her text.

"Well... you could... I mean, would you..." Shinji died off. He couldn't suggest that she stay at Misato's apartment for the night without Misato's permission. Also, it wouldn't feel... _right..._ to have Rei sleep there, while Asuka was in a coma at the hospital... "...would you... would you like an ice cream cone?" he finished lamely, seeing the ice cream shop starting to pack up and cheaply selling what was left of today's stock.

"Ice cream cone?" Rei asked in a voice barely higher than her usual monotone. If Shinji didn't know Rei as well as he did, he wouldn't have recognized it as a question.

"Yeah, you know, an ice cream cone... haven't you ever had an ice cream cone, Rei?"

"I..." For the first time in their friendship, Shinji thought he saw Rei uncertain about something. "I... don't remember..."

"Well, it doesn't matter now," Shinji said, seeing that a group of teens had swooped down and bought the rest of the stock. "The shop's closing. What if..." he hesitated, but charged on. "What if we both meet here tomorrow afternoon, and we can have ice cream then?" He mumbled quickly, stuttering over nearly every word.

Rei hesitated for a second. "I must leave now," she said quietly, and packed her books into her suitcase.

"Oh... Okay then." What was left of Shinji's already small self-esteem deflated, if it was possible, even further. "Well... see you later then..."

The only response from Rei was a slight inclination of her head. If he hadn't been paying attention, he would have missed it.

He watched her walk slowly away from the bench. He had the feeling that he should do something, that he should say something else, something to keep her there. The exchange they had just had was probably one of the longest they had ever had, and he new that if he just let her go now, all other chances would slip.

But instead he remained seated, watching her walk away... slow down... stop. He remained seated, watching her stand a few meters away from him, fumbling - _fumbling?_ - with the handle of her briefcase.

"Ikari?" she whispered.

"...Yes?" he answered, inwardly cringing at how audibly... _cowardly? lame?_... he was.

"I will meet you here tomorrow... for ice cream."

"Ah... yes."

She started walking again. Shinji sat in the dying light, watching her. He rubbed his eyes. She was still there. If he hadn't seen her, he would have sworn that he was dreaming. As it was, he still wasn't sure.

"Hey kid, time to go! Nothing left to see here!" a shop worker called out to him, fumbling at the lock of the roller door to his store.

Shinji shook his head. "Yeah."

The music wound down.

_Delighting in your company..._

Shinji was there, the next day. Shinji was there, sitting on the bench. Shinji was there, fumbling with his wallet, his eyes moving from people to shops to people again.

Rei was not.

_Alas, my love, that you should own..._

That was not to say that he wasn't... no, enjoying wasn't the right word... taking some measure of... _joy_... by being there. He liked the atmosphere. He liked watching, he liked smelling, he liked listening.

He was just disappointed that she hadn't decided to show.

He sighed, rose to leave, and sighed again. A soft voice made him stay.

"Ikari."

He turned around to face her. She was standing there; head was tilted slightly to one side. "Hi Rei."

"I am here now."

He smiled. "Yes, you are. Will we go now?" He held out an arm.

She stared at the arm. Shinji inwardly sighed, and let the arm fall. "Come on, let's go get some ice cream."

Taking carefully measured, but what seemed far too slow steps, Shinji set off to the ice cream stand. His arms swaying, he didn't look directly at Rei, but focused his eyes to the store, as if they weren't together but merely walking in the same direction at the same time. At least, that was the excuse that Shinji told himself; he snuck peeks at her out of the corner of his eye at least every ten seconds. It was this carelessness that almost gave Shinji a secret heart attack, as the side of his hand grazed the smooth side of her arm.

As if he had been electrocuted, but discretely, he flinched, quickly pulling away his arm from its position. When he glanced again at her, it seemed she hadn't noticed. He inwardly breathed a sigh of relief.

_A heart of wanton vanity..._

When they reached the ice cream store, he moved to the counter. "So... what flavour do you want, Rei?" he asked, turning to face her.

She stared blankly back at him. "What?"

"Well, there's..." Shinji looked down at the selection of flavours. "There's chocolate... and strawberry... and choc chip... and vanilla... and caramel..."

She continued to look at him. "Does it matter?"

"Uh... I guess not." Shinji turned to the man behind the counter and asked for two vanilla ice cream cones.

"So where should we sit?" he asked her as he moved from the counter, carefully carrying the box containing the two cones.

When Rei didn't respond, he chose a bench just outside the busy part of the center beneath a group of trees. From here, he could observe the comings and goings of the mall with ease, while still retaining some degree of privacy and isolation.

_So must I meditate alone..._

He handed one of the ice creams to her, and proceeded to start on his own. Rei merely sat, elbows on her briefcase in her lap, staring at the cone.

"What do I do with this?" she asked.

"She doesn't even know how to eat an ice cream cone," Shinji thought. Aloud, he said, "You... you just lick it, I guess. When you get to the cone, you bite at the cone and ice cream together."

Rei sat staring at the cone in her hands for a few more seconds, before bringing it to her mouth and giving it a tentative lick. Blinking, she gave it another. Her face shifting imperceptibly, she proceeded to lap at the ice cream.

Shinji watched her for a few seconds, then started quietly chuckling at how studious her expression was as she licked the ice cream.

She stopped licking. "Is something amusing, Ikari?"

Shinji stopped. "It was just... how you looked while you were eating. It was like you were studying it." He smiled. "And you've already gotten your first ice cream moustache."

Before he knew what he was doing, he raised his hand, and wiped the ice cream off her upper lip. Realizing what he'd just done, he snatched his hand back.

"S-sorry..."

Rei blinked, then went back to her ice cream cone.

Minutes later, having finished their ice cream and disposed of the rubbish, Shinji sat back on the bench, feeling content. He watched with silent amusement at Megumi dragging her boyfriend through all the shops, ordering him to carry a pile of clothes that was steadily increasing; Kensuke arguing with another military otaku before being violently ejected out of the hobby and model store; others of his class sitting around tables in the more central eating area, gossiping over who had done what where at whose party on the weekend.

He did, however, feel the awkward silence between him and Rei. "So... what are you doing this afternoon?" he asked.

"Homework," she replied bluntly.

"Oh..."

Shinji sighed. "You should really try and get out more, Rei," he said. "It's not healthy for you to be doing work all the time. It's important for you to come out and do things with people as well."

Rei picked up her briefcase and stood. "I will see you at the synchronization test tomorrow, Ikari?" she asked, the parting tone clear in her voice.

"Uh, yeah, I'll be there," Shinji answered. "I-it was good eating ice cream with you today, Rei."

She started walking away. "Goodbye, Ikari."

"S-see you later, Rei."

_Upon your insincerity..._

Shinji ran to catch up to the elevators, which was closing its doors only marginally faster than the time it would take him to reach them.

An extra burst of speed into his legs allowed him to reach the doors and slam his hands on the sides of one to keep it open, mere inches remaining.

Rei stared at him from inside. Behind her, the elevator music started playing.__

_Your vows you've broken, like my heart..._

Shinji stood silently in the corner of the elevator, watching the level display tick over. Rei hadn't moved from the place she had been when he'd entered.

"So... you did well in your synch test today, Rei," he said, more to break the silence than any real interest in their synch results. "You were ten points up from last week. I heard the doctor and Misato talking about it while I was getting changed."

Silence continued from the girl.

"Unit Zero is the only one I can use," she said finally.

Shinji shook his head, snapped out of his reverie. "What?"

"Unit Zero is the only Evangelion that will accept me as its pilot. Unit One rejects all others that attempt to pilot her, and Unit Two can only be piloted by Soryuu because it has not been configured for any other pilot."

"I... I see."

_Oh, why did you so enrapture me..._

They stood in silence for a while longer. The music flowed around them, immersing them.

"Hey, Rei? What... that is, what would you... what would you do if you were in love with someone?"

Rei turned towards him, but said nothing. He blushed.

"I don't mean... like, I just wanted to know... what do you do for someone if you're in love with them?"

She turned back to the door. "Set them free," she said simply.

"Set them free? What do you mean?" asked Shinji, confused.

"Love is a combination of all the things that make them your friend. If you love someone, you are meant to want to do anything for them; to keep them from feeling any pain. If you love someone, you do what is right for them, even if it means leaving them. If it means setting them free."

"Oh." Shinji took this in. "Have... have you ever loved anyone, Rei?"

She did not respond.

_Now I remain in a world apart..._

Shinji slouched over. "Sorry, Rei. I shouldn't be asking personal things like this. I just get a bit stir-crazy in these elevators; they never seem to end and they always keep people so quiet for some reason."

As if waiting for a cue, the elevator stopped. The lights flickered, before coming back on.

The music hadn't stopped.

Shinji watched Rei calmly pull out her mobile phone and put in a number.

"Hello? Yes. Number 8. Thank you."

She flipped her mobile back shut. "The elevator should begin moving in a few seconds-"

The elevator indeed began moving again in a few seconds.

"So... who did you call?" asked Shinji after a time. "Was it my father?"

Rei said nothing.

"I've seen you talking to my father. He seems a lot happier when you're around. I wish I was that close to him."

He sighed, and played with his fingers. "Rei... I was wondering... if you weren't busy, we might go... shopping, on the weekend?"

The door opened. Shinji flinched instinctively, before realising it was just the bell of the doors.

Rei was standing outside the doors. "If you do not go now, you will not be able to see Pilot Soryuu."

Shinji shook his head. "Thanks, Rei." He set off.

Rei followed him.

"I will come with you."

_But my heart remains in captivity..._

The nurses gossiped.

"The Ikari boy's here again today..."

"What, again? He's such a nice boy. Reminds me of Suzuhara, coming to visit his little sister every day."

"He usually comes at least three times a week. Sometimes the Major is with him."

"He brought someone else today."

"What? Who?"

"Miss Ayanami, you remember, from after the first attack?"

As they gossiped, the radio played.

_If you intend thus to disdain..._

Shinji and Rei walked through the metallic corridors of the hospital, the music echoing, following behind them, seeping into every ward and office and theatre of the complex.

The door opened, and the two pilots were greeted with the comatose redhead, hooked to unknown machines that went hiss and beep which almost, but not entirely, blocked out the nurses' radio.

The door shut with a hiss.

"Hi Asuka," Shinji said softly. He moved silently to one of the visitor's chairs, and dragged it beside the bed. "The doctors said that some familiar music might help you come back, so I... I made a collection of all the songs I thought you'd know." He grasped her hand. "Hikari said she would visit later too. She had some more songs she thought might help, I think."

He looked down, playing with her fingers. "Come back, Auska. When you come back you'll call me baka, and Misato will make bad jokes and make you eat her cooking, and you'll get into a huge fight with Touji and Kensuke, and it'll be just like old times, hey?"

He pulled out a Walkman, and gently moved her around so that he could get the headphones in her ear. "I made this tape with mine, so I'm not sure if it'll work. But I can't see why it won't," he said.

He hit the play button, and music boomed out the tiny earpieces. Shinji cringed, and quickly turned down the volume to a level where it wouldn't crush the heads of the living and conscious between the vibrations, had one been listening.

For a while they stayed, the hums of machines and echoing radio and whispering Walkman making a kind of symphony. Shinji merely sat beside the bed, holding Asuka's hand, watching her.

_It does the more enrapture me..._

"Why do you come if it makes you sad?"

Shinji turned towards Rei, only now realizing that a lone tear was trickling down his cheek. "Because... I need to."

"She does not realize you are here," she responded.

"But I do," he said. He played with Asuka's fingers. "I need to be here, for her. I need to be here because... she's my friend. And... I know that she'd be here for me."

They returned to silence for a while. The odd symphony of hum and buzz and radio continued.

"If she had not taken the position... you would be lying there now."

Shinji straightened. "I know," he said, "And that's what makes it worse."

Anything else that the boy was going to say was cut off as the bells rang for the end of visiting hours. Shinji sighed. "I have to go now. Don't worry, I'll be back soon," he whispered, patting her hand and returning it to her side.

Rei pushed the button for the door to open, and once again they were faced with solely the echoing radio of the nurses to listen to.

_And even so, I still remain..._

They walked down the many halls, heading towards the elevators. All the time, Shinji was, to put it bluntly, a wreck.

He was not showing it on the outside. Oh no, he walked well, slightly slouched over, the epitome of calmness. Inside, however, thoughts raced. He worried about what Rei was thinking about his question. He worried about Asuka. He worried that she would hate him for not taking point and thus the pain, like a true friend would. He worried that somehow today he may have wrecked two relationships with one stone, or in this case, visit.

Shinji was a worrier.

As the elevator doors opened, Rei stepped in.

"Are you not coming back down?" she asked, not turning around to face him.

"I... I'm not going back to NERV. My stuff will be fine there, I just want to go home," he lied, not wanting to be in the elevator alone with her. He turned to walk to the other elevator.

"Ikari?"

He turned back around. Rei still had not. "I will tell you my answer tomorrow."

Shinji almost visibly gave a sigh of relief. "Thanks, Rei. See you at school tomorrow."

"Goodbye." The doors clicked shut.

Shinji nodded his head, trying to get this new piece of information around his head. It took him some time.

When he worked it out, he smiled.

_A lover in captivity..._

The school bustled. Parents giving their children a last hug and kiss before they returned to work after lunching with them, against the struggling child's wishes; others coming in in drifts and drabs, couples, groups and neighbors; frantic running by the ones that had just finished their assignment in the mall and were trying to hand it in before the deadline.

The hustle and bustle of the school day was almost like the mall itself, come to that.

The music that played, as well.

_I have been ready at your hand..._

Shinji walked through the courtyard, watching the antics of them all. Touji and Hikari trying to get a last peck before lunch ended and the interruption of education returned; Kensuke showing off his new model fighter jet to a group of impressionable young underclassmen; Rei sitting on the bench reading her book.

Rei sitting on the bench reading her book.

He summed up what courage he had to approach her. She had said that she would give him an answer today, didn't she?

Each step seemed to halve his resolve either way.

"One step at a time... One step at a time..." he whispered to himself like a mantra.

When he reached her, she merely moved so his shadow didn't fall on her text. Shinji could literally feel his nerve dwindling.

"H... Hi Rei," he eventually managed to get out.

She nodded, but made no other indication of his presence. "D-do you have an answer yet?" he asked, realizing the chances of an affirmative answer were slight.

"It is not the end of the day."

Shinji could not deflate more. However, if there was a record for the lowest anyone had sunk, he had surely not just broken, but thrown up on it. "Oh. Wi... will you give me an answer then?"

She turned the page.

_To grant whatever thou wouldst crave..._

Choking back another sigh, Shinji sat down beside her. "What are you reading?" he asked, moving his head around to see the cover. "The Picture of Dorian Gray? Why are you reading that? It's a depressing book."

"Doctor Akagi recommended it," Rei said.

"Oh. Well, it's a good book, but it makes me depressed."

She didn't reply, so he continued.

"I mean, at the end Dorian has nothing. And when he realizes what he's done and tries to fix it, it kills him. That... that just makes me feel sad. He tried to turn back, but he couldn't be redeemed, and he dies alone, unloved, left with nothing."

When this still didn't elicit a response from the blue-haired girl, Shinji gave up. "Sorry, you're trying to read... I'll be quiet now."

They sat like that for longer than it actually was, or at least to Shinji's mind. Everyone else was socializing, having fun... and here he was trying to talk to a girl that didn't notice.

Such was his life.

With a thud, Rei put her book in her briefcase, snapping Shinji out of his daydream. "Wh... where are you going?" he asked, as the clips on the case snapped shut.

"I have finished the book. It is almost time to return to class."

"Oh, it is too..." Shinji mumbled, looking at his watch. "Do you-"

Shinji's words were swiftly drowned out by the playful bellows of Touji Suzahara and Kensuke Aida; working again in tandem to the probable end of embarrassing, or at least grabbing the attention of, Shinji.

_I have both wagered life and land..._

"Oh SHIINJIIIIII?" their yells came, as the pair pounced on the poor pilot. "What are you doing there sitting all alone?" Kensuke asked, putting on a feminine pout. "Don't you luwbe us no more?" he sniffed.

"No, I was talking to Rei-" he said, before he realized that there was in fact, a noticeable absence of the first pilot in the vicinity.

The small fact of lack of Rei didn't stop the first two stooges changing tack on the third. "Ooooh, Kensuke! Shinji was going to try and get a piece of Rei!"

"No... really? Go Shinji the Casanova!"

"He'd need it, how frigid she is..."

"Don't talk about her like that!" Shinji snapped, surprising all three. "It wasn't like that..."

"Whatever. And..." Touji held as the bells rang, "...we are now officially late for class. Come on, we may as well get our books before we start mopping the floors again."

"Coming, Shinji?" Kensuke called out, seeing him still standing by the bench.

Shinji stared past the bench, looking at the path he was sure Rei had walked on when she left. He turned back to Kensuke.

"Yeah."

_Your love and good-will for to have..._

Somewhat ironically, the next time Shinji saw Rei was on a bench.

Again.

This time, she was doing nothing.

_Thou couldst desire no earthly thing..._

"Hi, Rei," Shinji greeted her.

"Good afternoon, Ikari."

Shinji sighed. "Call me Shinji, okay Rei? People calling me Ikari makes me feel... like my dad." He sat down with a groan. "So... what bus do you catch?" he asked, seeing the bus timetable sitting in her lap.

"The next one," Rei responded briefly.

"Oh, I... see. I usually walk instead of catching the bus, but for some reason I'm really tired this afternoon," he said. Of course, Rei being there as well was more incentive. "I catch the one after you."

As they sat, Shinji played with the bag beside him; his hat; his shirt; his fingers.

He was, putting it in a more concise way, fidgeting.

He always felt uncomfortable sitting with a friend yet both of them not talking. And most discussions with Rei ended up just as such.

"...Rei?" he put out weakly, "What do you... I mean, who... What do you do for someone that you like?"

Rei's answer came uncharacteristically fast.

"Remember them."

_But still thou hadst it readily..._

"What do you mean?" Shinji asked, caught off guard.

"Man fears the darkness because he is fearful of being alone. If they have lived, doing their job and then leave, no one will remember them. Eventually everyone and everything that recalled their existence will be gone, and they will be forgotten. That is the fear of abandon, of loneliness."

"Is that why you don't become friends with many people? Because you think that they'll forget you and leave you?"

When she didn't respond, Shinji realised that he may have gone too far. "Sorry, Rei..." he said, "I shouldn't have asked that..."

"Why?"

"Well... wasn't it too personal?"

"No."

"...Rei, you shouldn't say things like that. Everyone needs something to keep to themselves, to show only their closest friends." He smiled. "And don't worry," he said, reaching out and holding her hand loosely, "I'll remember you."

Rei didn't flinch, but nor did she move closer. "No, you won't."

Shinji turned towards her forcefully, tightly gripping her hands in his. "Yes I will... I'll remember you no matter what."

"You will think you did," was her cryptic, sombre answer.

"I... I don't understand..."

Rei opened up her bus timetable and read, no longer paying any attention to the conversation.

Shinji sighed.

_Thy music still to play and sing..._

Where did he keep going so wrong? He tried to be nice to people, he tried to care for them, and they either pushed him away; he wasn't able to help them or he scared them away. It was all good and well for him to be nice and kind and caring, but at the end of the day, he always saw the guys with attitude and language and recklessness with more friends than he had.

For the first time in his life, Shinji wished that he was like that.

For in her answer, Rei had touched right on the heart of his deep, hidden fears.

He was lonely.

Shinji watched as the bus turned around the corner and headed towards their stop. And now Rei was standing up, walking towards the doors, the doors were sliding open, she was stepping in...

Ignoring him.

Walking away.

Just like every other time.

But... last time that Rei had walked away... she had come back. She had said yes.

Maybe he would be lucky this time too.

And she was turning, her head was turning; from her place on the stairs of the bus, her head was turned towards him...

He saw, rather than hear, the words from.

It seemed to happen in slow motion.

"I will come."

A rare feeling for Shinji; he currently felt like he was the happiest man in the world.

The doors slid shut, leaving Shinji sitting alone on the bus bench. He rose and watched as the bus drove down the road, turned the corner, and was gone.

Shinji shook his head, and wondered who up there had such a warped sense of humour.

_And yet thou wouldst not love me..._

When Shinji walked in, his guardian; confidant and self-declared head of the 'Hey guys lets make Shinji go red' Foundation; known in the common tongue Misato, realized something had happened today.

For once, Shinji wasn't moping around...

For once, Shinji didn't just meekly get afternoon tea and slouch into his room to study...

For once, Shinji didn't have the face of suffering on...

For once... Shinji was smiling.

_I bought thee kerchiefs for thy head..._

She could tell just by the way he walked. He still didn't have the walk of a casual, normal, unstressed teenager; but there was a certain spring in his step that she hadn't seen in months.

There was a certain... look about his face.

There was a... zest in his aura of being this afternoon.

Misato wondered what on earth, short of destruction of the Angels, could cause such a rapid, unseen change in the boy.

Of course, when Misato decided she needed information from the boy, she did it in the easiest, most practical and fun way to go about it.

Shortly: embarrass the hell out of him.

"So, Shinji... why are you so happy today?" she asked the boy teasingly.

"It was just school. Nothing unusual..." he replied, his face deadpan but his voice barely containing the happiness.

"Hmmmm... you know Shinji, your not a very good liar," she smiled, walking over to where he had sat down and joined him. "Do you want to tell me the easy way... or the hard way?" she taunted, making sure that the young boy could see enough of her figure to borderline a nosebleed.

She wasn't slutty; she was comfortable with herself.

Besides; the blush on Shinji's face when she did it was worth it a thousand times over.

"Nothing happened!" the boy insisted, trying to escape; but Misato had grabbed him and pulled him into her lap. He twisted vainly in her arms as the major tucked her head around his shoulder, whispering into his ear, "It was something naughty, wasn't it?"

"I'm telling you, nothing happened!" Shinji yelled, still squirming furiously.

"Okay..." Misato purred, "You get... the hard way."

With that, she pushed him onto the chair, jumped on top of him, and started tickling.

"No... stop... stop!" protested Shinji, as he was tickled, trying not to laugh or cry or both.

"Not until you tell me what happened!" Misato responded just as loud, prodding her fingers into his back, belly and feet. This elicited more tearful laughter from Shinji.

"Please... no... Okay! Okay! I'll tell you!" he said, trying not to fall off the chair.

In an instant, Misato had him pinned down. "Okay, so what made you so happy this afternoon?" she asked.

"I... I'm going shopping with Rei tomorrow."

This was the last thing that Misato expected. She let her arms go slack, allowing the boy ample escape. But instead of doing so, as he would have normally done, he flipped her over and returned the favour.

Misato squealed.

_That were wrought fine and gallantly..._

Later that night at the dinner table, Misato finally asked the question. "So... how did you manage to get Rei to go out with you?

Shinji blushed. "It's not like that," he mumbled, "We're just friends."

"Oh well. It'll be good for you to get out more and be with your friends. And Rei's a nice girl, even if she's a bit shy."

They continued eating. "You know, Shinji..." she started, after finishing off a forkful, "You're getting to that age where there are some things you should know."

"I... I know about sex and all that," he said, sinking low into his chair and his face going redder than the sludge Misato called 'sauce' on top of the ramen.

Misato waved a hand. "I didn't mean that. That's not the hard part: get this and this; stick it here; oh my that feels good do it again, its all practical. I meant things like learning the signs that girls want you to see, like holding hands or cuddling up to you or what it means when they shy away or ignore when you brush together."

"I told you... its not like that... we're just going as friends."

"Your decision," shrugged the newly declared expert on all things relationship. "But you'll be looking for a nice girl to settle down with soon, and you'll be wanting to know things like this."

Shinji's hair was barely visible underneath the table. "I'll be fine."

"Suit yourself."

_I kept thee at both board and bed..._

Thankfully for Shinji, the rest of the evening conversation consisted of less potentially embarrassing topics.

When Shinji rose to gather the bowls together, Misato grabbed his arm. "Wait, I want to give you something." She reached into her handbag and pulled out her purse, gathering together a bundle of notes and handing them to the boy. "For tomorrow. Make sure you buy her something nice."

"Misato..." Shinji licked his finger and counted the bills, "There's got to be at least fifteen thousand yen here..."

"I know," she winked, "Buy her something really nice."

"I... I can't take this..."

She waved her hand. "Take it. You deserve it."

"Th-thank you, Misato."

"Anyway, I'm off to bed. Night." Misato took her cup and walked off in the direction of her room. Shinji was left in the kitchen alone, one hand with dirty bowls and the other with a wad of cash.

He characteristically worried about what was going to happen tomorrow.

_Which cost my purse well-favoredly..._

Shinji sat at his computer, copying music to his SDAT for the morning.

He also listened.

_I bought thee petticoats of the best..._

He thought about what would happen that day.

What would they do? What would Rei want to do?

...would she even come at all?

Shinji had an image of the two sitting together on a bench somewhere, waiting for something to happen. It would have been almost comical if he had not been worrying so.

Yes, he was still worrying, and it was only an hour until it was time he went.

As the music clicked over, he sighed.

He glanced down at the list of ideas he had written down. Movies; clothes shopping; visiting parks...

He couldn't picture Rei doing any of them.

_The cloth so fine as it might be..._

Misato popped her head in. "If you're planning on seeing the girl, you should probably start heading off soon," she said.

Shinji sighed again. "Thanks Misato. I'm just feeling pretty nervous about all this."

She smiled. "I thought you said that you were just going as friends?"

"It is! Just... I don't know whether or not she'll even be there, or what to do, or what she'll want to do, or what to-"

"If you want to sit there and wonder what if's all day, then you should call her up and say that you're not going. There's no point in it. Just go and be with the girl."

"I know... I'm just nervous."

"Shinji... everyone's nervous when they're going out with someone of the different sex for the first time. No, hear me out," she said, holding up a hand as Shinji started to protest, "She's a nice girl, if she says she'll be there than she'll be there, but its still the first time you're doing anything with a girl on your own. Even if you're not her boyfriend."

She walked over to him and layed a hand on his shoulder. "It might surprise you... but I was nervous the first time I did anything with a boy by myself."

"What happened?"

"We were going to a party together. I was only going with him because I couldn't get there any other way. I was older than you... lets just leave it at that. Anyway, we ended up reaching where the party was meant to be, and we were the only ones there." She smiled. "It turned out that the whole party was made up, and he was actually trying to be together with me, but he was too nervous to talk to me outside of a group or offering to do something for me." She started laughing. "When we realised how nervous we both were and what he'd done, we started laughing so hard the neighbours called the police because they thought someone must have been dying."

She wiped a way a tear. "Those were the days." She looked down to see Shinji shaking with laughter.

"Poor guy... I see how he felt... poor bugger."

She knelt down to his level. "Shinji," she said, "I'm sure you'll be fine once you get there."

"Thanks Misato."

_I gave thee jewels for thy chest..._

Misato lunged at the boy, embracing him in a fierce bear hug. "Just remember that I'm more proud of you now than I've ever been," she whispered.

Tears were in his eyes. "That... that means a lot to me, Misato."

She looked back up at him. "You go out there and give that girl the best day she's ever had," she said. She silently let go of him, wiped her tears away, and walked out.

Shinji wiped his tears, and watched as the SDAT finished copying. When it had finished, he picked it up.

Would he need it today?

He put it back down. After all, he'd be busy giving Rei the best day of her life.

As he left, he never heard the tears from Misato's room.

She looked at the picture, then dropped it, pretending not to care where it landed but making sure it didn't break.

The strong major broke down, collapsing against the wall and wept.

"Stupid Kaji..."

The music the computer had been playing stopped.

_And all this cost I spent on thee..._

Shinji walked down through the mall promenade, looking and taking in everything.

Teenagers made out. Parents and children screamed; often at each other. Tourists went around taking snapshots of every insignificant fountain.

The music played.

_Thy smock of silk, both fair and white..._

As he walked through, he finally caught a glimpse of Rei. Swallowing, he walked through the throng of people and... eventually... got to her.

"Hi Rei," he greeted her.

"Ik-" She was cut off by his hand.

"Shinji, please. I told you I don't like Ikari."

He held out his arm for her to hold. When she did nothing but stare at it, he sighed and let it drop. "Come on," he said, "What shall we do today?"

She didn't reply, so he pulled out his list. "I made this up last night in case we couldn't think of anything." He looked down at it. "There's... the movies, we could go and see what on, or we could go shopping, or we could go and look at the art gallery..." he trailed off.

Something, however, had caught her attention. "Shopping?"

"Well, yeah..." Shinji scratched his head, "We could go clothes shopping. I mean, you wear the same kind of clothes day in, day out, it might be nice to have a look at what else you could wear."

"Okay." Rei started walking off in the direction of the clothes shops.

_With gold embroidered gorgeously..._

"Hey what- wait!" he said, stuffing the list back in his pocket and running to catch up with her. "You want to go clothes shopping?"

"Yes."

"Oh... okay, I just didn't think you would choose so fast," he said.

They walked through the various women's clothing departments, searching through multitudes of racks for clothes that matched Rei.

They found nothing that the both of them could agree on.

"How about this?"

"What about..."

"Why don't you try..."

Nothing.

_Thy petticoat of sendal right..._

Oh, they found plenty that would have looked good, yes. Tops, skirts, swimwear; they went through it all. But Rei's taste was somewhat lacking, preferring straight, boring colours; and Shinji was too much of a coward to even think about considering the possibility of trying to get Rei into some of the tissue-thick pieces they saw that day.

They walked back the way they came, looking back over at all the shops that they had searched. "Sorry, Rei..." Shinji apologized, "We should have looked harder."

When no reply was forthcoming, Shinji deflated. She was angry with him. But he'd tried not to do anything bad or get her to try anything on that she might not have liked; he tried to be the gentleman and find clothes that suited her...

Yes, Shinji liked worrying.

It was nice and safe.

As they walked through the plaza, Shinji spied an out-of-the-way clothes shop that they hadn't visited.

"Come on Rei, one more try," he said as he led her there.

There, they found pieces that would undoubtedly have looked very nice on some of the other girls at school, but again, nothing that suited Rei.

Finally, Shinji pulled out an article. "Hey Rei," he called out to the girl, twirling the outfit around, "Why don't you try this?"

She wordlessly took it and headed for the change rooms again. She must really be angry with me for having dragged her here again, he thought.

When she came out, Shinji was struggling to pick his jaw up off the floor.

She was wearing a short-sleeve white blouse, with a similar knee-length white skirt. The collar went down, modest but still showing a... feminine... side.

In short, she looked beautiful.

Not the 'beautiful' as the kind of beautiful a boy said to a girl in order to get her into a bed, preferably his; but the truly heart-stopping beautiful that most people never have a chance to experience either looking or looking at.

"Rei... you look amazing," he said.

She did the obligatory turn. "Does this look good on me?" she asked.

"It certainly does."

Just as Rei started heading back into the stalls, Shinji called out. "No... don't take it off. I'll buy it and you can wear it."

She stared back at him. "It is not necessary," she insisted.

"It's okay, I want you to have it."

She shrugged and followed him to the counter. The old lady's eyes opened when she saw the young man calmly pull out seventeen thousand yen out of his wallet and hand it to her, but she said nothing.

_And these I bought thee gladly..._

"Have fun lovebirds," she called out after them as they walked out, carrying Rei's old clothes in a bag.

"Why did she call us lovebirds?" Rei asked him.

"I... I don't know," lied Shinji, hoping the line of questioning would go no further.

His hopes were both answered and countered. "I think she believes we are in an intimate relationship," she said, ignoring the furiously blushing Shinji, or the slight trickle of blood that was starting to drip from his nose.

"Really?"

They had almost gotten to the end of the clothing precinct, when Rei asked "Are you not buying anything new?"

Shinji stopped. "I don't need to... I mean, its not really..."

"If I have been given new clothes then you must buy new clothes."

_My men were clothed all in green..._

Shinji's other hope was that he would be able to get out of clothes shopping for himself. Clearly, someone up there was trying to show him their warped humour again.

"Okay, come on," he said, and walked back in.

The hunt for Shinji's clothes took not even half the time it had taken to find clothes for Rei.

The other shoppers were far more appreciative as well; at least, they didn't have to wait in line for ten minutes while the pair ran back and forth to get new clothes to try this time.

Shinji walked out of the change room, wearing the clothes that Rei had picked for him.

"What do you think?" he asked Rei, who was sitting outside the change rooms. "Do I look good?" He did the spin.

Rei had chosen for him plain black trousers like he normally wore, as well as a new shirt. The shirt wasn't any more brilliant than his normal shirts apart from one difference.

The shirt was green.

_And they did ever wait on thee..._

Rei looked up at him. "Yes."

"Oh, good," Shinji said, both relieved that something had been found that he looked good in and that he might be able to stop getting clothes for himself now.

It wasn't so much that Shinji didn't like wearing new clothes, it was more he didn't like the process of having to choose them. He couldn't see what was so bad about the clothes he normally wore.

It was one of the few things that he and the rest of men shared in common.

Shinji thanked the woman and took his bag with his old clothes in it. He had handed a far smaller bundle of bills over this time then last time.

_All this was gallant to be seen..._

"Why did you spend so much on me?" Rei asked as they walked out.

"Because the dress was worth more."

"But why did you not buy nicer clothes for you or worse clothes for me?"

"Don't worry about it," Shinji smiled. "You're worth every cent." He put his arm around Rei's shoulder.

She moved slightly. Shinji wondered what it meant, and wondered if he should have taken up Misato on her offer.

Then he heard the music.

He threw back his head and laughed.

"What is so funny?" asked Rei.

Shinji continued to chuckle. "The song, and my shirt. Someone must like this song a lot, it always seems to be playing here or on the radio or somewhere."

Rei nestled into his shoulder. "I like it."

"Then I like it too," he smiled down at her.

_And yet thou wouldst not love me..._

A click in the darkness. Ritsuko stopped.

"Sorry, it won't work without my password."

_They set thee up, they took thee down..._

"I see. Did Kaji plan this?"

"Never you mind about who planned this!" snapped the Major. "Show them to me. Everything. All the secrets you've buried here."

Ritsuko smiled. "Then this one will see them as well," she said. She motioned for Shinji to come out of hiding.

Misato's eyes tightened, but no other physical reaction came from her. "Agreed."

Misato stepped forward, and typed the words to let them in. The door opened with a hiss.

Ritsuko took the initiative, walking through the door and leading them through a labyrinth of halls, doors and huge pieces of machinery. After what seemed like years, she stopped in front of a plain, unnoticeable blue door.

Wordlessly, she unlocked it, and opened it.

They were greeted with Rei's apartment.

"It... its just like Rei's apartment..." stuttered Shinji. Misato, too, looked around in wonder at the complete duplicity of the two places.

"It's not surprising," Ritsuko's mocking voice came out from the door, "She was created here."

"She was born here?" Shinji wondered, looking over the room in a new light.

"In a manner of speaking. The visions of light and water, streams of consciousness; all is merely a reflection of this room."

Misato frowned. "Ritsuko, this isn't what I came to see."

Ritsuko smiled. "I know."

_They served thee with humility..._

The doctor turned and walked back down the hallways, her two tag-alongs struggling to keep up. Again, she led them through the labyrinth. This time, they came to a balcony.

Ritsuko shone their torch across the lower areas.

"Is that an Evangelion?" Shinji asked, peering over the edge into the darkness.

"The first one. A failure. Abandoned a decade ago."

"An Evangelion graveyard..." Misato whispered.

"Nothing that elaborate," Ritsuko snorted. "Just a dumping ground for failures." She smiled eerily at Shinji. "Do you remember the last time you were here Shinji? You were standing right here where we are now. Your mother was down there in the Eva before she died. Do you remember?"

Misato raised her gun again at Ritsuko's back. "Doctor!"

Ritsuko waved her hand. "Yes, yes, I know. Come on."

_Thy foot might not once touch the ground..._

She led them back downstairs. And down more stairs. And more stairs that lead down until Shinji was almost sure they were going to the center of the earth.

She reached their final destination. "And the last stop in the grand tour," she said mockingly, opening the door with a flourish.

Inside, the two could see nothing but a single orange tube from the floor to the ceiling, breaking off into thousands of other tubes.

"The dummy plug?" asked Misato.

"No. Just where we make the parts."

Ritsuko flipped the switch. Suddenly, all around them, lights lit up, revealing the room to be surrounded completely by a huge tank, from wall to wall.

A thousand Reis stared out at them.

"Rei? And... Rei? And..." Shinji screamed.

"They're all Rei," said Misato, snapping her head back and forth, trying to take it all in. "You mean..."

"These are the cores of the dummy plug. These are nothing but spare parts. Spare Reis." She walked around the room, running one hand across the glass. "Mankind found God. In his folly, Man attempted to make the God he found his tool. For this arrogance, Man was punished. Fifteen years ago. But... Man continues to try and resurrect this God. And from this God, Adam, Man attempted to make a God that was like Man himself. And that was Eva."

"What?" gasped Shinji. "You mean the Evas are..."

"Yes. Human. Inside every Evangelion resides a human soul. But the only body that can hold a soul is Rei."

Ritsuko's voice turned harsh. "These things have no soul, no right to live. Nothing but shells. The Chamber of Gauf is empty." She fondled something in her pocket, and they all heard a faint 'click'.

The Reis gave a squeal of pained pleasure as they were crushed up against the glass. Their smiling faces all looked on the trio out from them, still smiling as their limbs separated and they were slowly torn apart.

Misato pointed her gun back at Ritsuko, her finger pressing slightly, taking off some of the pressure needed for the gun to fire. "Do you have any idea what you're doing?"

The doctor smirked. "Of course I know," she said. "I'm destroying them. These things have no will, no right to live. But I still lost to these... these dolls... I could have suffered any humiliation he could have given me, any torture. But he had already chosen; the bitch would eventually replace me by his bedside..."

She slumped where she stood. "Oh God, I'm a fool. Like mother like daughter, fools to the end!" She snapped her head back at her former friend. "If you're going to shoot, then go ahead and do it. I welcome death."

With a click, Misato's finger released the trigger. "If that's what you really want..." she said, looking down at the crying woman, "...you really are a fool."

Ritsuko let out a louder peel of sobbing, and collapsed to the floor, holding her head in her hands.

"Father... why must you curse all that come into contact with Evangelion?" Shinji's mind screamed.

_And yet thou wouldst not love me..._

Shinji lay on his bed, unmoving. This didn't mean he was asleep; this just meant he was in deep, deep thought.

His SDAT clicked through songs in his hand.

_'Tis I will pray to God on high...___

He lifted his hand and adjusted the earphones.

What Ritsuko had just shown him... What did he do now?

He knew that he wouldn't be able to talk about it to Rei. Either she wouldn't tell him, or it would scare her away. And they were closer now than he had ever been with anyone that he could remember.

And, now that he knew about her origins... he wasn't sure that he'd be able to talk to her anymore.

But why did it worry him so?

How could it not worry him so? He had just found out that Rei wasn't a normal girl in any sense of the word.

She hadn't been born: she had been made.

She had hundreds of... well, bodies... there in some sort of aquarium.

_That thou my constancy mayst see..._

And what hurt Shinji most of all, for reasons he couldn't fathom why, were of Ritsuko's sorrow.

...I could have suffered any humiliation he could have given me, any torture. But he had already chosen; the bitch would eventually replace me by his bedside...

Did this mean what he thought it meant?

He just didn't know.

He slowly rose, dropping the covers on the floor, and walked out to the kitchen. It appeared that Misato, too, could not sleep after the revelations of that night.

"Why are you up?" he asked her, taking her cup and refilling it with coffee.

Misato snorted. "How could I sleep after seeing... that..." she whispered.

Shinji nodded. "I know what you mean. I just don't think I'll be able to see Rei again after that."

_And that yet once before I die..._

"No, not just that," Misato sniffed. "Ritsuko. She went through all that and look how worthless she felt. I was meant to be her best friend, and I didn't even notice."

Shinji put his cup on the table, and walked behind her. "It's not your job to try and know everything about everyone," he said, hugging his guardian. "You can't help everyone all the time; if you do, you'll end up sad yourself, and that will just make everyone keep away from you so in the end you can't help them anyway."

"I know. But... you can still try. Anyway, you do it all the time."

Shinji looked down. "That's why I don't talk to people. If I do, I push too hard to try and protect them, and in the end I'm the one they need protecting from."

"Don't say that!" she yelled, turning around and grabbing the boy. "Never say that. You're a good boy, you're a good friend, and someday they'll realize that," she said into his shoulder.

After Shinji had stood there for a few minutes, his legs were getting sore. "...Misato?" he whispered, turning the woman over. She had fallen asleep; her tears dried on her face.

With a sigh, Shinji went into the other room, grabbed a blanket, and tried to cover Misato up as best he could. When this task had been finished, he ran his fingers through her hair. "Thanks a lot, Misato."

That night, by the songs of the SDAT and the thoughts in his head, Shinji Ikari cried himself to sleep.

_Thou wilt vouchsafe to love me..._

Shinji dully walked through the halls of NERV, not paying attention to the mayhem and madness occurring around him.

So an Angel was attacking? So what.

So they were going into battle? So what.

With what he knew, he didn't really care.

_Ah, Greensleeves, now farewell, adieu..._

He climbed into the Entry Plug, and dully went through all the steps to calibrate the Eva. It didn't matter; Unit One was still in stasis on orders of his father, and the likelihood of him going into battle was almost zero.

He sighed, and slipped on the earphones, realizing he had just been sitting there for minutes just holding them.

Yelling woke him up.

He looked at his watch, seeing it had been almost half an hour he had been asleep. Praying no one had noticed, he started listening in on the conversation.

"This isn't good. More that 5 has already undergone bio-fusion," Maya's voice came through the speakers.

"Damnit. Try releasing Unit Two with the dummy plug inserted."

Shinji's teeth ground together when he heard the words 'dummy plug'. So, it appeared, it did to someone else.

"There is no dummy plug system. Not after you destroyed the last remaining prototypes last night," growled the elder Ikari.

"You know well why I did that!" Ritsuko screeched. "What you were planning to do with them-"

The rest was cut out as a muffled sound, a scream and the sound of something being dragged out came to Shinji. A new yet not unrecognized voice was now loudest.

"I want Unit One taken out of stasis immediately," said the Commander.

"But, sir-"

"At least he's more useful distracting the angel from her than staying down here doing nothing!" Shinji could picture his father yelling at Misato. "Do it."

"Yes sir. Okay Shinji, you heard all that?"

Shinji nodded, and gripped the controls as the catapult lifted him out of the Geofront and into the city.

_To God I pray to prosper thee..._

What he saw shocked him beyond belief, beyond rationalization, beyond everything that he had been thinking about for the past hours.

Unit Zero was writhing in pain as a long, skinny tube that he guessed was the angel slowly fused itself into the Eva.

"Shinji, spread run out and spread your AT Field to maximum. Try and take some of the heat off of Rei," Misato ordered through the speaker.

Shinji was already moving, grabbing his progressive knife and slashing at the other end of the Angel. This distracted the Angel for barely a handful of seconds, before it plunged its other end hard into the torso of Unit One.

Shinji screamed as he felt the Angel fusing, joining itself with the Evangelion.

This had an unintended side affect.

He could hear... something.

"Don't you want to become one with me?" said a voice... Rei?

"No. I am me. Not you." That was Rei.

"But you shall. It is too late! They have already given you up for lost. When you die, a new Rei will be awoken, and they will accept her as you." That was Rei... but a different Rei...

"But... Ikari will..."

"Shinji believes what he sees. When he sees the new Rei Ayanami, he will recognize her as the Rei Ayanami that he knew, and he will forget you."

"Don't you understand?" the Angel Rei laughed. "You are not Rei Ayanami. You are a doll, a clone, made by a man called Gendo Ikari. You were made from what was left of his dead wife when he could not let go. There is no Rei Ayanami, just living dolls that call themselves Rei Ayanami. And when you die and another takes your place, they were accept her as you, and you will be forgotten by everyone. And no one will care."

Shinji was blinded with rage at the Angel.

Partly because he knew it was true.

Still...

"Rei..." he gasped out, trying to reach her through the pain he was going through. Underneath his plugsuit, he could see his chest slowly warping, shrinking, twisting and deforming.

_For I am still thy lover true..._

"Shinji?"

"It is my mind and soul," taunted Angel-Rei, "To become one with Shinji Ikari..."

"You will not-"

A new flurry of voices could now be heard through the speaker.

"Her AT-Field's been reversed! She's got bio-contamination everywhere!"

"Rei, abandon Unit Zero! Get out of there! You cannot hope to contain the Angel!" his father yelled.

"I cannot. If I leave Unit Zero the AT-Field will cease to be. I will not let it."

"Rei!" Shinji joined in desperately, "Please, don't! Please!"

"Her core's collapsing!"

Just before the Evangelion exploded, Shinji heard Rei's last words.

"Shinji-"

The world exploded in a ball of flame.

As the damaged Unit One crashed to the ground, Shinji raised his bloodied, shredded hand out to the sky.

"I remember."

The boy fell thankfully into darkness.

_Come once again and love me..._

_Greensleeves was all my joy..._

The mall was filled with all sorts. Students, workers, old ladies on their weekly shopping expedition. Tourists buying cheap novelties sold by gaudy shops designed specifically for that purpose: all could be clearly seen from any point in the mall.

And the students. Every day, without fail, there were students. In the morning, you could see them, carrying around black satchels; trying to finish their homework before they got to school. Even on weekends, when there was no school, it was generally accepted that at least ninety percent of the teenagers present were students. Even during school hours, there were students; relaxing during their lunch break, doing their due assignments during their free period without being caught by the teacher, or simply skipping classes.

Shinji liked it... but there was something missing.

Rei.

_Greensleeves was my delight..._

He sat at the bench where they had first truly spoken; not as pilots or as co-workers, but as friends. And for the time being, he was content to merely sit and watch the day go by.

He leaned back, and reflected on the past few weeks.

Ice cream.

The hospital.

School.

Shopping.

The battle.

Remembering made him feel better. He tensed his hand, feeling the slightly cool plastic of his SDAT, being warmed by his heat. He wasn't listening; the song that he would have listened to was already playing.

_Greensleeves was my heart of gold..._

It didn't matter about how she was made. It didn't matter that there was a copy of Rei walking around, for all intents and purposes identical to his Rei. It didn't matter what had happened, what anyone thought, what would happen in the future.

He was happy. Rei had gotten her wish... She had been remembered...

She was free.

Shinji smiled.

_And who but my Lady Greensleeves..._

_End._

END NOTES:

This fic was inspired about a conversation that we had on IRC #ds about ice creams. I had this idea that Shinji and Rei should meet in the mall and their first 'date' be for ice cream, and the relationship build from there. I happened to like the song 'Greensleeves', and I'd already planned what was going to happen at the end (Rei dying), and I realised that the chorus of the song (at the beginning and in the last section) fitted rather well to the mood I was trying to make (or so I thought).

I know some of the lyrics do not perfectly match the section in which they are placed, but I think after rereading it that it makes a nice contrast; the lyrics are usually related somehow, but not openly having anything to do with each other. This is also the first songfic that I have any knowledge of (in any fandom) where the characters are actually aware of the song, and comment on its playing or acknowledge the song's playing somewhere in the fic.

I am sure it's a bit jumpy in places, but 1) this was the style I was trying to go for, a group of interconnected, yet not entirely progressive scenes; and 2) it's not meant to be a totally descriptive piece, as in you know every detail that happens, but your actually meant to think about what was implied happened yet didnt and _make up your own goddamn mind_. It's the best that I can hope for for now, and I've worked so much on it that I probably won't be able to look at it again for a good while. But if I get enough requests; or I feel inspired one day, I will go back and make it better.

I also thank the multitude of people that helped me and inspired me write this, some greater some lesser. Despite what they may think, they DID inspire me to get off my arse and actually write it

Having said that, see you next time.

-Dorian__


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